Of Kissing Rubbish and Giving the Finger
by Carolyn the Lovely Lynn
Summary: Dumbledore resigns!! I wonder who takes over Hogwarts? You just find out and see!! I wrote this with my friend, happy laughing!


  
** Of Kissing Rubbish and Giving the Finger**   
by Carolyn the Lovely Lynn & iamtheanonymous. ALSO KNOWN AS, 'The Wacky Duo'

Note: The Wacky Duo writes fics not appropriate for children, therefore we have another account, together (The Wacky Duo. d-d-d-oohh). But since this is none of the PG-13 or more sort, I decided to post this here. D-dohh.

Disclaimer: **I own **_the_ JKR and HP. Jumping Kangaroos of Romania and Hippopotamus' of Peru, that is.   


* * *

The narrow hallways leading to the Slytherin dungeon were bathed in a soft glow from the lamps along the walls. A lone figure stood in the dimly lit hallway, waiting. Waiting in the darkness, waiting for the uncertain and waiting for someone who had to be there. 

Draco Malfoy, Slytherin prefect and Quidditch captain, sighed and took out the piece of perfumed note paper, written in purple ink. He re-read it for about the hundredth time. Just at that time, Harry Potter, Gryffindor prefect and Quidditch captain appeared around the corner. 

"Don't tell me. You sent the note as a joke?" Draco said, trying to hide his anger and embarrassment at the same time. 

"What note? I just wanted to tell you that Dumbledore has called for an emergency meeting of the prefects in the Hall," Harry looked at Draco suspiciously. 

Draco blushed. His pale face made it all the more obvious. So it wasn't Potter's useless prank. Then who sent him that note, folded neatly in half and slipped into his bag? He wondered as he followed Harry to the Great Hall, making sure to keep about 45 paces away from Harry, under his psychologist's orders. 

* * *

"I have called forward this meeting today to make a very important announcement," Dumbledore said, holding up his wand to silence the entire table of prefects. 

Everyone turned to look at him and listened intently. 

"I have decided to stop being a wizard and live with Muggles instead," Dumbledore said solemnly. 

"**NO**!" all the prefects screamed. 

"I'm a bit deaf and going blind. From this moment, your new headmistresses would be…THE WACKY DUO!" Dumbledore announced. This was followed by much confusion. 

"Who are they?" a Ravenclaw, the head prefect this year asked. 

From out of nowhere, these voices were heard: 

"To protect the world from devastation,   
To unite all peoples within our nation,   
To denounce the…   
WAIT, THIS IS THE WRONG SONG, DAMMIT!" 

"Told you you shouldn't have seen those shows," Carolyn said, sniffing pompously. 

"We are, or were, temporary prefects. (A/N- We were, really) We'll take over from here, Dumbledore," said iamtheanonymous. 

"There is no such thing as a temporary prefect!" Draco retorted. 

"Whom dareth speaketh in my schooleth?" Carolyn said, turning to Draco. At this point, a huge grin 10 times the size of the Grinch's played across her face. 

"Well, well, it's Draco Malfoy. You are sentenced to wear black Versace leather (hehe) _only_ for the rest of your schooling life and…. we have to do something about the hair, don't we?" Carolyn announced very gleefully. 

With a wave of her wand, Draco appeared fully clad in tight, black leather and there were purple and silver streaks in his blond hair. Pansy Parkinson fainted. 

"First new school rule: Draco Malfoy is never allowed to wear anything but black designer leather! And I love the hair, don't change it," Carolyn said. 

"Second new rule: Our school's motto shall now be, '**It Wasn't Me**'. Third new rule: Green Day's **Minority** will be our new school song, alongside the Hogwarts one," iamtheanonymous said. 

"We pledge allegiance to The Wacky Duo's absurd underworld rule," chanted a bespelled Cho Chang. 

"FREE T-SHIRTS! FREE T-SHIRTS!" yelled iamtheanonymous, giving out hideous yellow T-shirts, with 'Who Let The Nuts Out?' printed on it. 

The entire table of prefects protested at these new school rules and turned to Dumbledore for help. He was sitting far away from the table, admiring his bottle caps with a slightly demented smile on his face. 

"Next rule: My office door will now read '**I am the all-knowing. I am omniscient**' and I really am, don't think I can't see you pretending to throw up there, Padma," Carolyn said with a very pleased look. 

"And _you_, Lavender. I can see that, yes, I can see that finger." 

* * *

Draco realized this was getting too far. He stood up and bellowed, 

"I GOT A DUMB, PATHETIC, MAWKISH LOVE NOTE FROM A GIRL CALLED **LOVELY** AND I _REALLY_ WANT TO KNOW WHO SENT THAT NOTE AS A STUPID JOKE!" 

"Draco? It... it was me, sweetums," Carolyn whispered at Draco, winking. 

"It was.. wahh? No, no... AHHHHHHHHHH!" and out Draco ran, with Carolyn (Lovely) panting behind him. 

"Erm, students. Students. STUDENTS! **OY, STUDENTS!**" exclaimed the disgusted iamtheanonymous. TheHogwarts students somehow managed to tear their eyes away from the insaned Carolyn/Draco situation and turned to look at iamtheanonymous. 

"Okay. Since The Wacky Duo #2 is now.. er... unavailable, I shall --" 

*Draco zooms past iamtheanonymous* 

"Er, I shall --" 

*Carolyn zooms past* 

"RIGHT! THAT IS IT!" cried iamtheanonymous. 

Everybody froze. 

"I JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU THAT WE ARE MOVING SCHOOL!" yelled iamtheanonymous. 

"Er, yeah," Carolyn said, adjusting her shirt. "We are all moving to The Place." 

"What? Where is that?" said Ron Weasley. 

"Where?" asked an astonished iamtheanonymous. "You see that building over there?" and she pointed to the Shrieking Shack of Hogsmeade. Everyone gasped and gave iamtheanonymous looks of 'OOohs'.   
"Heh heh. That's not it," said iamtheanonymous, laughing with her head thrown at the back. 

"We are going here," said Carolyn, and she showed everyone a picture of Al Gore and Monica Lewinsky giving the finger to Bush. "Ahh... wrong picture," said Carolyn. "Here it is!" 

And there was the picture of a man called Rubbish, and women slobbering him with kisses. It was actually a poster, and the poster read, 'And who cares if Rubbish lives in a dump? He _is_ **FILTHY** rich! Heh heh'. 

"Oh, sorry again. My bad. Anyways, here is the _real_ picture of the place that we are moving to," said Carolyn, finally showing the the real picture of their school-to-be. 

And everyone goggled.   


For there, on the poster, were the words,   
  
  
  
  


** FanFiction.Net**   
  
  


**THE BLOODY END**   
  


Wacky Duo #2: Heh heh. We are evil.   
Wacky Duo #1: REVIEW! 

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